What do you do? Have you noticed just how often you get asked this question? Hint: when you meet new people, on your medical paperwork, when you want to buy a car. Actually most often it’s worded slightly differently: what’s your job title? Or even worse – what’s your occupation? Continue Reading
“What you are is what you have been. What you’ll be is what you do now.” Buddha
I was recently talking with a dear friend about how often people struggle, despite all good intentions, to change other people ‘for the better.’ For both of us, life had led us through enough valuable, and at times very painful, experiences to know that you simply can’t change someone unless they are ready for it. Change really does come from within.
So how would you know if you are ready for a change?
This question has been lingering in my mind as I’ve been reflecting on the past year – creating and growing my coaching practice, working with and witnessing my amazing clients’ changes, and going through some big shifts myself.
It may sound counter-intuitive, but the first place you should look when trying to answer that question is not what you’ve been doing, but rather what you’ve been resisting. Are there any specific topics you’ve been avoiding in conversations? Has there been anything lingering day after day on your to-do list? Are there certain people you’ve been ignoring?
In other words, what are your current pain points?
If you’ve been avoiding shopping for new clothes, or barking at people to stop talking about their New Year resolutions to work out more, even if they are not talking about you, then most likely you have been resisting your body’s natural desire for more movement and play.
But even if you are aware enough to know what you’ve been resisting, you still may not be ready to change. For most people there is usually a typical path to create positive change whatever that means for them – a fitter body, more harmonious relationships, a soul satisfying career, or getting rid of pesky habits. It goes like this: resist change for a long time, reach breakdown point, create positive change.
I’m sure you know what I’m talking about. I’ve done this before and so have you. But if you are anything like me, you are probably wondering how you can skip the first two parts, especially the breakdown, and still get there. How do you get ready for a change faster?
I think I got to the answer. Since I started life coaching earlier in the year, I’ve had the honor to work with various people, coaching them on a large array of life issues – career dissatisfaction, relationship disharmony, low self-esteem, having difficult conversations, discovering their life purpose and many other things. The coaching process is unique to each individual, but there’s a basic flow to it: explore the issue, have ‘aha’ moment, create change. Essentially, coaching helped them go through the period of resistance much faster and way before they hit their painful breaking point.
To illustrate this point, I’ll share my own struggles with my coaching practice. While I’ve enjoyed coaching people on many issues, for a long time I knew I would be of the highest service to others if I focus on a specific problem and become the expert at it. Though I knew this intuitively, I actively resisted changing my coaching approach for months and months. This led me to feel paralyzed at times when it came to moving the business forward. It was hard to write blog posts. You should see how many drafts I’ve started and never finished. But I knew that I needed to take action to move forward and that coaching can help me. So I hired a business coach to help me get through my own resistance faster.
Together, I had my ‘aha’ moment. You see, I believe that that everyone desires and deserves to feel at peace and in harmony with themselves and life. That sounds very woo-woo, but it’s truly why I became a life coach in the first place. It’s why I realized I absolutely love working with people in their late 20’s and early 30’s, who yearn for more balance and control of their lives.
I know that their natural state of being is ‘go-go-go’ with million things to do. As a result, they often feel stretched thin, frazzled, overwhelmed, and out of touch with what they love and their life purpose. And from my coaching experience, the main culprit for feeling this way most of the time is a soul sucking job that does not light them up.
This is when I realized I need to change the focus of my coaching practice. Going forward, I’ll be helping you go through a career makeover, so you can feel more in control of your life, realign you work with your unique life purpose, and create a healthy work/life balance, so you can spend more time on the things that matter the most to you. As a result, I know you’ll feel more happy and at peace.
You’ll see changes here, in my virtual home, in the next few months as I continue to take action and move past my resistance and towards this direction. And it feels great, scary, and very difficult at times. But deep inside I believe that focusing on helping you find or create your dream career is one of the main ways to live a life you love. And I’d be honored to help you experience this faster.
So tell me, what have you been resisting? Are you ready for a change? If you are a brave soul, share with the world and leave a comment below. It’s been scientifically proven that people, who make a public claim, are more likely to follow through. As always, if you know someone who can benefit from this article, please pass it along.
There are days when nothing seems to flow smoothly. You barely make it out of bed. Everything is difficult. You feel out of sorts all day. You go through the motions, not excited about work or anything else really. You just feel blah.
How do you snap out of it?
You have to take action. You have to go through a shift of some sort – mental, physical or emotional. When feelings like these have persisted for a few days, it is a sign that something needs to change. It doesn’t have to be drastic. The key is to do something different.
Feel like you’ve tried it all? Consider any of these suggestions. If anything feels like too much right now, move on. Just keep moving until you find what resonates with you and lightens you up.
1. Move your body.
This is the best medicine for your troubled soul. Go work out – when was the last time you regretted that? If that’s too much right now, go out for a brisk walk. Dance in your living room. Just get moving.
2. Read a book.
There’s no better way to get away and to a whole different world. Taking a step away from your own life and problems will allow you to recharge and take a fresh look at what has been bothering you and why.
3. Give thanks.
Simply try to express gratitude. It will put you in a place of mind that will make it easier to reconnect with what has been going well in your life. You don’t even have to write it down. Simply try to be thankful for at least one thing every day.
4. Try journaling.
This can help you get to untapped feelings that have been put on the back burner for too long. It may feel awkward at first, but if you give it enough time, you may be surprised by what comes out of your pen and just how liberating it feels.
5. Practice self-care
Make yourself a priority. Try a new haircut or finally go get that 90 minute massage. Indulge yourself because you deserve it. By investing the time for some self-love, you will start to feel upbeat and like yourself again.
If you tell me you’ve tried everything above and you are still struggling and feeling out of sorts, I urge you to just keep on going. It’s through action that you’ll go from feeling blah to your ‘aha’ moment. No matter what, keep going.